hard

When Sunday's sermons come from the grey SONY speakers and you still try to sing with all your heart. It's hard.

When it seems like it's easier to get a minister over to Africa than a tiny town called Cambridge in Nova Scotia. It's hard.

When you watch the sad tiredness of your elders who lead and pastor and this is not their job; no - they still work full time besides for their family. It's hard.

When you eat up the good food from the visiting pulpit supply because you really don't know when the next good meal will be. It's hard.

When the young man starts coming and the cancer is taking over and his heart is searching - where is the pastor? It's hard.

When the widow dies and who will be pastor to take care of it all? Not ours. It's hard.

When it's been two years of having a different voice almost every week and sometimes not knowing until Friday who it will be. It's hard.

When you think you've found the one. Yes. The love is there and the good fruit. But it is not to be? It's hard.

When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul; when change and tears are past,
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.

When you hear "and as your days, so shall your strength be."

And "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

And "We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed;"

It's all you can do, to pray 'Lord, move this from my head to my heart'.

And it's really, really hard.

my heart

Holland.  

There are no words.   

Pretty sure I left half of my heart there three years ago.  

Guess I'll have to back to get it. 

currently #6

growing...

Two little baby aloe plants. And like 1400 watermelon plants. Okay not quite. That would be a lot of watermelon. 

hearing...

The happy happy birds. And Dream. 

loving...

Birthday cake tea. Best ever. 

praying...

Teach me to do your will, for you are my God! Let your good Spirit lead me on level ground. 

Ps. 143:10 

reading...

My summer book Dandelion Wine. It's just something you should do. Start in May. Little by little. Story by story. It's like living two summers at once. 

avoiding...

Dairy. My life feels partly ruined. Like, ice cream, iced coffees. C'mon... 

hoping...

Isn't that what we're always doing? Living in joyful hope. Not always happy, but joyful in hope.

Spring Chat

I love spring. It's so exciting.

And with the excitement comes restlessness. List making. Plan devising.

Gotta make that picnic happen for real this summer.
Go to the drive-in with the truck and portable radio and mounds of pillows and blankets and friends.
Campfires. Often.
Actually go to the ocean because you only live five minutes away.
ICECREAM

(Let's not approach the subject of reality with a list of awesomeness like that)

As the World Goes 'Round

I have yet to read Charles Dickens' Little Dorrit, but I have seen BBC's mini-series on the novel and quite love the story. There is a line in the TV series that I am not certain is in the book, but I still love its meaning: "As the world goes 'round, so it comes 'round again."

As I was just heading into a week of difficult shifts, I had to keep reminding myself that it always goes, and it always comes, over and over. That nothing bad comes without eventually leaving again, and the good things are not out of sight forever. And if you're in a hard spot, don't start running. Because sometimes you are on the bottom of the earth, but you need to stay put in order to come out on the top again. The world is always turning. You'll never be on the bottom forever.

The bad news is nothing lasts forever. The good news is nothing lasts forever. But God is always good. And glory be, He is our God.

okay

Confession.

I will never be a truly consistent blogger. It's just not in my blood.

But. What is in my blood is pride.

So. I will never delete this blog in defeat. But will always keep it and write posts that contain a sentence or two about how long it's been since I've written and then I will expect the reader (hello? Do you even exist?) to get over it.

And that's what that was.

Over it yet?

Okay. Great.

*kitty pictures are not relevant whatsoever except that they belong to me and I like taking their pictures even though they really don't care*

about time

When you get asked about your blog.

And you realize it's been on your to do list for a while and never crossed off.

You get in gear and just write a few words to confirm your existence.

Even if it's just the first few words that come out of your finger tips.

And it's all you've got. On a long week. A rainy day.

But on the bright side...



It's quite a wonderful time of the year :)