Whoops.
Well, I'm not even thirty-six hours out of exams. It hasn't sunk in yet. I feel like I am on a constant splurging break. I feel lazy. I feel guilty. My mind goes automatically to 'I should stop watching BBC mini-series and get going on homework', and then I remember that I actually don't have any. SAY WHAT???
I thought this would have felt way different. Counting down the days made it seem like a bigger deal, but now that the days have run out it's like 'oh, I'm done.' Maybe seeing my family will settle it. Maybe at graduation it will sink in. Maybe when I'm saying good bye and going home it will hit me. I'm not sure; but I can't say I am really enjoying this feeling as much as I thought I would.
It's been an amazing year though. I've never worked so hard in my life; I've never learned so many lessons in such a short period of time, (and not just in the classroom). I've met so many wonderful people, had so many godly examples around me, struggled through so much and am all the more stronger for it. I am thankful. Thankful for this opportunity, the people who made it possible, and for God who led me through every minute of it.
I was at a mall earlier today and over heard a teen-aged girl say exasperatedly "I don't know what to do with my life." It made me realize that even if I don't know what is coming next I have so much hope and faith in the knowledge that I am in the center of the holy will of God. I have riches stored in Him, I have His love and relationship at all times, I really do not have anything to fear.
If I were to expound on all the areas that Gillespie has affected and strengthened me, I might not get to bed tonight. So I will just state that it has been such a blessing; SUCH a blessing. And also a special thank you to all who were involved in that: teachers, classmates, and some other special people I encountered along the way.
Most importantly, it is by grace that I have been blessed. For every gift that has been bestowed upon me this past year, I thank my Heavenly Father for His love and mercy. For His working in my heart, and for His calling to me to be His own.
"Take my will, and make it Thine; it shall be no longer mine. Take my heart, it is Thine own; it shall be Thy royal throne, it shall be Thy royal throne."
