a combination of Christmas thoughts

I have to write a 2000-2500 word essay on Christmas for my final writing paper. At first I thought I would write about the history of Christmas and how we are to keep Christ in mind as we celebrate, and I still am going to write about that, but something else too.

We should always be celebrating Christmas. Christmas is forever now - because Christ is always with us. 

We save Christmas hymns for church services in December, but we should always be singing glory to the new born King. I look over at the tree, and the star on top and think "the wise men still seek him". A little angel dangling on a low branch; do we continue to worship him as they did on that night? I see JOY in a window, is that a reminder, or is it just a part of the season as well?

I love Christmas, I really do, and I know it would be hard for me not to have Christmas. I could live without presents, and the turkey dinner, but our family time, not. I know I will have to let go of that someday, but hopefully I will be able to start traditions of my own when that happens.

Wow, 2013 is just days away. Seriously, where has the time gone? 

the tree is crooked...the lights will cover it

I think our tree is crooked. I don't care. I'm home.

It's been crazy, I was employed at the piano for my first church service back home, helped my brother with his farm work, Monday was my one down day so I did house chores, Tuesday we watched The Hobbit, and today my Bestie came over and we made bagels and ganache swirled brownies. Yum. (And for those of you who go and check the link out, we did NOT put alcohol in them.)

Downside: I am getting a sore throat. It snowed and slushed today. I haven't finished my Christmas essay. But it's okay.

I can't think of anything profound to say at the moment. Nothing thought-provoking, or heart felt. I should think up something soon because a lot of my posts have been pretty empty and boring. Just me talking about myself and what I do. I will work on that.

Day Twelve

Day 12: summary of first semester

I never thought I'd get here.

Well, I'm here, writing this blog post on my journey home. It's been pretty crazy, the final exam yesterday, and a crazy afternoon to follow. Woke up this morning, quick ride to the train station, went on a train and a subway for the first time. Explored down town Toronto, and spent this afternoon with some pretty crazy, amazing people.

Now I am heading home. Oh, I am so excited.

This first semester at Gillespie was like nothing I have ever experienced. It was so different, it was so good, it was hard too. I cried, I laughed, I got tired, I worried, all about things I had never cried, laughed, got tired, or worried about before. I have met some amazing people, learned some astounding things about that which I put my faith in, and sometimes felt like my brain would blow up; and this was only half of it. They say next year is harder, but I take that as more amazing, more knowledge, all the better for me. (At least I try to take it like that)

Well, I'm ready to go home. I'm ready for a break, I'm ready to see my family, my friends, my church family, and those furry little things that I have missed so much. I miss Nova Scotia, the country, familiarity, and home.

 Home, here I come.

Day Eleven

Day 11: a song for Christmas

this one by Casting Crowns. I love their Christmas album, I love this song.

Oh, and I am done the exam. It's all over. 

Day Ten

Day 10: a dream...

Enjoy the rest of my Gillespie life. Including the next twenty hours. My brain is blowing up and almost fried simultaneously.

Aristotle makes no sense.

Aquinas really wasn't that great.

John Calvin was amazing.

Francis Bacon thought he was; he wasn't.

I can't wait for pizza tomorrow, not because I love pizza, but because we'll be done. DONE.

Day Nine

Day 9: a quote for Christmas

from this post on girl talk

"The Christmas message is that there is hope for a ruined humanity - hope for pardon, hope of peace with God, hope of glory - because at the Father's will Jesus Christ became poor and was born in a stable so that thirty years later he might hang on a cross. It is the most wonderful message that the world has ever heard, or will hear" - J. I. Packer

Day Eight

Day 8: biggest worry

Will I make the walk home? Or will I die of hunger?

I'm kidding, my life would be pretty pathetic if that was by biggest worry.

Right now, I am really concerned about my history exam. Not necessarily passing, but my motives. I want to gain knowledge, and learn from every experience in all my schooling. If I fail, I want to use that to push me to further learning. If I pass, I still want to continue that learning, and not throw away what I know as soon as a get through this.

Our Old Testament teacher called me a priest today. Then we gave him Cap'n Crunch which he was very grateful for. It was a good morning.

Day Seven

I am presently at the library with my room mate because the internet is down at the apartment. That is why this post is a day late. And that is why there will be two in one day. And that is all I have to say.

Day 7: a recipe for Christmas

I have always wanted to make this cheesecake ever since I saw it. I love chocolate. I love cheesecake. My mouth is watering. I haven't had lunch yet. I am hungry. I am going off topic.

See, doesn't it look deathly delicious. 

This is just one of many recipes I have bookmarked for Christmas. I wanted to make it last Christmas but I made these babies instead. SO GOOD. 

Well, I should move onto tomorrow, I mean today, since this is yesterday. Confusing much?

Day Six

Day 6: wish list

This was dumb.

A pass on my philosophy exam would be great.

A safe flight home with no glitches would make my Saturday.

A white Christmas.

umm...

Chocolate.

That's it.

Wait.

And home sweet home.

Day Five

Day 5: something I have learned

It's the little things that add up to make a difference; I mean it. Like reading Psalms before I go to bed instead of a novel, listening to Christian music instead of secular, thinking good thoughts of people, even if you are making it up, going for a walk instead of watching a movie, reading an inspiring blog post instead of watching AFV on YouTube, a cup of tea instead of coffee... the little things. 

I haven't nailed down any of those things; I know they are simple choices, but when I don't make the better one, it really sets the tone for the rest of the day. Sometimes it is the little steps in the right direction that, in the end, will bring you where you need to go. 

Day Four

Day 4: a movie for Christmas

My web browser doesn't recognize 'movie' as a word. What???

Home videos. It's been a while since I've watched them. I hope we spend at least one Sunday night during Christmas arguing over which person we are going to embarrass next. The little boy voices that you can still kind of recognize in the now man voices, my dad's moustache, my Opa, our old house, such good memories.

So that's my movie for Christmas, unfortunately, I don't have a trailer for it to share. :)

Day Three

Day 3: happiness is...

Oh boy, why did I choose something so broad? 

Or maybe this is too simple. 

Well, we just finished the Tenth Commandment in Practical Ethics class, so my mind is kind of soaked in contentment at the moment. If you have complete faith in God's will, it leads to perfect contentment in where he has placed you, and that leaves no room for unhappiness with your situation in life.

Happiness is doing God's will, it is thankfulness for everything he has provided you. Anyone who understands that what he ordains is for your good and his glory, would not desire anything more than that perfect plan which he works out for good for those who love him. (Romans 8:28)

Day Two

Day 2: funniest moment of the day

Oh man, there were too many, and mostly during logic class. I think the best one was when I was told to marry a reformed seminary student and move to New Zealand to could start a reformed church. Sounds like a plan.

Tomorrow is our last Old Testament test. Today was our last Practical Ethics class. It was sad, in one way, and yet I have learned so much. I can't even begin to imagine what we will learn next semester.

Day One

Day 1: Bible verse of the day

I read a lot of blogs in the run of a day, and most of them quote a Bible verse or two. I went with this verse that I read on girl talk at lunch break.

Proverbs 22:6 "Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it."

I've been thinking about this verse for a while now, and realizing the implications in effect. I never really realized what I been trained to do, until I am told differently. You don't go about aware of what you are if you have been like that all of your life.

I have also begun to realize that you don't become something in a moment; and then when you do become something, you probably won't notice it. It's called growing, it's called sanctification, and you won't get any further ahead in it than God intends you to. There is nothing wrong with desiring to become more generous, or discerning, or thoughtful, just don't be ungrateful for where you are at in your spiritual growth at the present. I am not excusing those who don't try, but try trusting that God will bring you to where you need to be, when you need to be there. Contentment is key in spiritual growth, if you are anxious about your spiritual growth, you should question the root of your motives.

I believe I went far too off topic with that one. I think I also may have used up an option for day five. Oh well, I've learned lots of things, the well is far from dry.

A dozen days till Christmas.

I know what you're thinking: since when is Christmas on the 15th? Let me tell you something, it isn't. It starts on the 15th, for me at least. So I am going to do a countdown till the day I go home, for no reason at all, just something to do everyday besides the numerous school tasks I already have before me. 

So, here's the plan. 

Day 1: Bible verse of the day

Day 2: funniest moment of the day

Day 3: happiness is...

Day 4: a movie for Christmas

Day 5: something I have learned

Day 6: wish list

Day 7: a recipe for Christmas

Day 8: biggest worry

Day 9: a quote for Christmas

Day 10: a dream...

Day 11: a song for Christmas

Day 12: summary of first semester

Let's see if I stick to it. I usually don't stick to things I make up and tell myself to commit to. 

Tomorrow will be Day One. 

See you then. 

It's gonna be crazy.

16 days. Two exams and one quiz. One Old Testament Summary. One Critical Book Review. One Catechism Diagram. Wait, that doesn't sound like a lot, it just seems like a lot.

Sure, I'm 10 days closer to going home than I was 10 days ago, but I am also 10 days shorter on preparing for final papers and such.

I don't know why I am blogging, I have my critical review document open and the book laying in from of me closed. I need to stop stewing and start doing. Right now.

Wait, wait; I must close with a quote. I love this one.

"Anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, 

but only empties today of its strengths" 

~Charles Spurgeon

Just For You

This one is for you, Sabrina! I love you! See you in 21 days! :)

One Month!

oh boy oh boy! In exactly one month I will be walking my finals history exam to the front, and I'll be DONE. No heading up to my room to start on homework, no getting ready for tomorrow's class, there won't be anything to do. That'll be weird.

There will be so much to look forward to after that moment. My first train ride, exploring down town Toronto with Kristin, and going home.

For now, I have four weeks to prepare for final exams and papers. Oh well, it'll keep me busy; hopefully.

Day Thirty

Day 30. A picture of someone you miss.

My Opa Kamerman. I don't remember much, but I do remember him enough to know I wish he was still here. I remember what his voice and laugh sounded like, and I remember his hands. They were arthritic, but they still played with his grand kids. I remember talking on the phone with him and Oma, and I still remember when he made me a doll house and cradle.

And I remember when he died. I remember being too shy to give him a back rub in the hospital, and I remember crying when my mom left me with my aunt so she could go be with him. I remember the funeral, and seeing him in the coffin, but I don't remember feeling sad. Even though he played with me, spoiled me, and loved me, I didn't cry, I didn't miss him. 

I miss him now, a lot. I have to remind myself that even though I wasn't exactly grateful for him when he was around, I did still enjoy him. I would give anything to have him back, but knowing what pain he was in while still here, I am so happy I can't.

♥

Day Twenty Nine

Day 29. A picture that can always make you smile.

I love both of these pictures SO much. I miss the people in these pictures SO much.

I can't wait for Christmas! 

Day Twenty Eight

Day 28. A picture of something you're afraid of.

Airport security. Mostly because I just booked my tickets for going home at Christmas. So excited, so dreading this. 

Day Twenty Seven

Day 27. A picture of yourself and a family member.

... or five family members. 

I love my little cousins. So much. They came for a visit in August, and that was such a good time. We picked early blackberries, and went shopping in Halifax, and went swimming, and roasted bread dough, and made mud face masks. It was so much fun.

I love you guys!

Day Twenty Six

Day 26. A picture of something that means a lot to you.

I miss my family, I can't wait for Christmas. Yes, they drive me crazy at times, and I am sure after three weeks I'll be ready to be on my own again. But absence makes the heart grow fonder, and you really don't understand how special your family is until you spend some time away from them. My wise older brother told me this would happen, I did believe him, and now it has come to pass. 

38 days. 

Day Twenty Five

Day 25. A picture of your day.

Old Testament Survey and History of Western Thought.

And Stephanie's mug. 

Oh dear, I just remembered I need to type up my reading journal; as soon as you think you can see the end, you realize you were just looking through binoculars. 

What an awful metaphor. 

Day Twenty Four

Day 24. A picture of something you wish you could change.

Wow, that would be a lofty goal. I didn't actually think about it, but as the root of all sin, to change pride would really be changing the state we are in. Sometimes I think it would be great to not even be able to think about myself, except when it's necessary. Oh dear, is it possible to set my standards too high? 

Sorry, I know this post is a day late. My room mates and I went away for the weekend, and then we had a few car issues coming back. But we made it; so glad to be home. 

Day Twenty Three

Day 23. A picture of your favorite book.

"I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you." - Psalm 119:11

Is there a more precious, more valuable, more truthful book in all the world? Can the message of the Scriptures be over-valued? I think not. 

Day Twenty Two

Day 22. A picture of something you wish you were better at.

To guard your heart is more than just saving it, it's investing in it. To guard your heart isn't to turn it off, it's to turn it towards Christ. I do wish I were better at it, but at the same time keeping in mind that "perfection will never be reached on this side of heaven." - Mom  

Day Twenty One

Day 21. A picture of something you wish you could forget.

Bad thoughts, so many of them. Worry, hatred, pride... so many thoughts that just took up precious time and energy in my life. Imagine all the good we could do, all the growth we would experience if we only focused on Godly thoughts, and meditation of his Word. It's sad to consider that the number of destructive thoughts I have had out-weighs the number of constructive thoughts. Sometimes I wish I could just clean out my brain and start fresh, but that is where redemption comes in. Christ has washed us clean with his blood, all the sinful thoughts and actions we have committed are paid for and forgotten. If we are to receive that redemption, then meditating on our sins is rejecting the cross; it is putting hope in our works, and not Christ. 

Goal for the day: meditate on Christ, focus on what he has done. AND: start research for mid term writing assignment. It's due next Friday. 

Day Twenty

Day 20. A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel.

This is just one of MANY places I would LOVE to travel. I really want to go to London, see Big Ben, the buses, and go on the London Eye. Just to experience the British culture excites me. I have never been outside of North America and barely outside of Canada, so this is a big dream, but I do hope it will happen. 

Happy Reformation Day! John Calvin (aka Stephanie with a hat and 'beard') stopped by for classes today. What an honor for Gillespie Academy. :)

Day Nineteen

Day 19. A picture and a letter.

Dear Letter L,

My name would be Auren without you, and I wouldn't like it.

Sincerely,
Lauren

How lame is that? Sorry, I just got back from my exam, and I still have quite the work load in front of me; just going through the motions here....

Day Eighteen

Day 18. A picture of your biggest insecurity.

I guess in general I don't really like being watched, or even the thought that I might be drawing attention to myself. I always hated having to get up and go to the washroom during a church service, or dropping an item in the grocery store, and music festivals; the only time I can stand playing piano in front of a crowd is either for a church service, or for back ground music.

I guess this is a pretty general insecurity, but it's all I can really come up with, and it's truth. Okay, and I guess I couldn't resist putting up this picture. It makes me want to laugh and cry and say 'oh, that's so true' all at the same time. 

History exam tomorrow. OH. DEAR. 

Day Seventeen

Day 17. A picture of something that has made a huge impact on you recently.

You wanna talk huge impact, I'm talking gigantic impact. It's been eight weeks since my first class, and I honestly don't think I have ever spent eight weeks so well. The things I have learned, the people I have met, the time I have spent studying the most glorious truth on earth; it's been amazing; tough, but amazing. I'm loving it.

Day Sixteen

Day 16. A picture of someone who inspires you.

My Dad. I love him to bits. Two things that I love the most about him is his contentedness, and his composer. Seriously, it is almost scary how content and composed he is. 

He had a change in diet a few years ago, and I never once heard him complain; even though he was no longer allowed to have bacon, or egg yokes, or whole milk. He's so content with his peanut butter sandwiches and Wheetabix, every morning. 

I know of two incidents when my dad worried, and that's it; two. In other words, if my dad starts to worry, every one else has hit the panic button long ago. It's not that he's isn't concerned when my brother chops off half of his finger, he just handles the situation with complete composure.  

I love you Dad, so much. ♥

Day Fifteen

Day 15. A picture of something you want to do before you die.

Ride in a hot air balloon, somewhere exotic, with someone famous. Never mind the last one, I dream too big. 

I was going to put skydiving, but honestly, I chickened out. It's still a dream, but I don't think I could commit to it on the public world of internet. 

Day Fourteen

Day 14. A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without.

My Bestest Forever. :) I miss her so much, I have only about one hundred and seventy-eight things planned for us to do at Christmas. Except I won't have one hundred and seventy-eight extra moments do to them in. 

Fifty-one more days, girlie! Can't wait till then! 

Day Thirteen

Day 13. A picture of your favorite band or artist.

I don't really have a favorite band, but I do usually like Casting Crowns music. It's not fluffy, if you know what I mean. Not saying their theology is perfect, but it's deep, and meaningful. They don't sing about the fact that Jesus loves you, but how he loves you. I like it, a lot.

Day Twelve

Day 12. A picture of something you love.

This was tough, cause I love a lot of things. I love a lot of things just as much as I love music, and I love a lot of things more than music. But I do love music, a lot. Playing the piano is like therapy after classes are done and I have a pile of homework to do. I think I'm addicted, especially since I live right above the church where there is a grand piano forever at my disposal. 

It's raining out, how gloomy is that? Maybe I should go play the piano....

Day Eleven

Day 11. A picture of something you hate.

They creep me out, especially since I am allergic to them. People get annoyed with horse flies, I would personally be a very happy person if horse flies were my only nuisance. I can't be calm when they are around, I run. I know you're supposed to stay still, I can't. Must exit. 

I was enjoying the sunshine while doing school on the deck this morning, that is, until I realized my worst enemy was also enjoying the sunshine on the deck. Now I am in my room with the window wide open, and no enemies near. 

Day Ten

Day 10. A picture of the person you do the most crazy things with.

Again, I can't do singular, must go with both. 

Me and my brothers, we seriously do the craziest things. We tried to get lost once, and another time we dug up a dead cat. This picture is awful though, Mom was trying to get a good picture of us kids but the sun was too bright, I think I was about to sneeze in this one. 

We grew up together, but there were the times when you wouldn't have been able to tell we were growing up. We would get into these crazy moods in their bedroom, and say and do the most ridiculous things. Good memories, we've got some really good memories together. 

Day Nine

Day 09. A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most.

My momma; honestly, I don't know what I would do without her. I love it when we talk and when we go on shopping trips together. I love it when we go for long drives to the airport or even just to town. Whenever I think about something or need an opinion on anything, I email her, I ask her to Skype with me, or call. She helps me understand myself, and others. She has taught me to think and consider before doing, she has taught me to strive for discernment. She really has gotten me through the most in my life. 

I love you Mom ♥ 

Day Eight

Day 08. A picture that makes you laugh.

This was the first picture we took with our new digital camera back in October 2006 when we first got it. That's my Oma K. I think she was puzzling. I love her so much, and I don't think I had ever seen her stick out her tongue before this. She's so special. ♥ 

Day Seven

Day 07. A picture of your most treasured item.

My first Bible; I was eight and I got it for Christmas. It's purple, and falling apart. I don't use it anymore now that I have a study Bible, but I will never get rid of it. 

One of my teachers brought my roommate and I to the market in St. Jacobs today. It was great, especially the apple fritters. ;)

Day Six

Day 6. A picture of a person you would love to trade places with for a day.

This little guy, I know he's not a person, but he is exactly where I want to be a lot of the time. In my favorite tree in Australia, taking a nice comfy nap, with a fluffy furry coat wrapped around me. :)

I found this quote on facebook today:  "Quotes found on the internet are not always accurate." Abraham Lincoln

Day Four

Day 4. A picture of your favorite memory

Wow, this was hard. I went to look through some older photos and suddenly I had about seventeen more favorite memories. Not even sure if this one is at the top but it's pretty near, so we'll go with it. 

It was at my Mom's family reunion, the first time that every one of my mom's siblings, and their children, and my Oma all got together. It was ten years after my Opa died, and marked their fiftieth wedding anniversary. We went tubing on the lake we stayed at and it was a riot. I'll never forget it, ever. 

Day Four

Day 4. A picture of your night

Yup, I'm studying. It's reading week, which means we get a break from class so we can do school. It also means we're mid-term, which means half way to Christmas break, which means going home. :) 

Night y'all. 

Day Three

Day 3. A picture of the cast from your favorite show.

I absolutely adore this show. Ever since I was little I can remember watching these, and even now I still cry when Olivia gets married and when Gus comes home. Best show ever. It's so heartwarming, and funny, and descent. It's not one of those shows that builds on the girl falling for this guy, than that guy, but it turns out this guy was better. Okay, Felicity almost married Arthur, but that wasn't the theme of the show. It's just so cute, and real. I love it. 

Day Two

Day 2. A picture of you and the person you have been closest to the longest.

Me and my parents. I love them so much, and I don't really know what else to say, just that I love them so much. 

I couldn't just choose one of them, so I am already making an exception. If you can't stand exceptions, I apologize; there will be more. 

Day One

Day 1. A picture of yourself with ten facts.

1. This picture is over a year old; it's all I could find.

2. I love photography, but I need a better camera.

3. I love music, I usually can't get enough of a good song.

4. I love a good quote that inspires me. 

5. I love animals, especially my silly dog, and three divergent kitties. 

6. I get to go skating this weekend, and that excites me very much.

7. I'm a country girl, even though I am currently living in the city.

8. I am attending Gillespie Academy; learning more about the faith I have based my life upon.

9. I am really enjoying it.

10. These are probably the most boring ten facts you could waste your time on. Please forgive me. 

That took way too long to type up. Probably because I have another tab open to YouTube. I need to work on that. 

Cheers!

30 Day Photo Challenge

I think I am going to start off with a 30 day photo challenge, just as a way to warm up to the blogging world. At first I was going to do a Christian themed challenge, but I think a general one will do fine. Today I will just post the challenge and tomorrow will be Day One. So here's the list, which has been altered slightly to suit myself a bit better.  :)

Day 01. A picture of yourself with ten facts.
Day 02. A picture of you and the person you have been closest to the longest.
Day 03. A picture of the cast from your favorite show.
Day 04. A picture of your night.
Day 05. A picture of your favorite memory.
Day 06. A picture of a person you would love to trade places with for a day.
Day 07. A picture of your most treasured item.
Day 08. A picture that makes you laugh.
Day 09. A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most.
Day 10. A picture of the person you do the most crazy things with.
Day 11. A picture of something you hate.
Day 12. A picture of something you love.
Day 13. A picture of your favorite band or artist.
Day 14. A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without.
Day 15. A picture of something you want to do before you die.
Day 16. A picture of someone who inspires you.
Day 17. A picture of something that has made a huge impact on you recently.
Day 18. A picture of your biggest insecurity.
Day 19. A picture and a letter.
Day 20. A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel.
Day 21. A picture of something you wish you could forget.
Day 22. A picture of something you wish you were better at.
Day 23. A picture of your favorite book.
Day 24. A picture of something you wish you could change.
Day 25. A picture of your day.
Day 26. A picture of something that means a lot to you.
Day 27. A picture of yourself and a family member.
Day 28. A picture of something you're afraid of.
Day 29. A picture that can always make you smile.
Day 30. A picture of someone you miss.

It may be a bit challenging since I am not living at home and don't have access to all our old photo albums. If I really believe it is necessary, I always have my younger, computer-wise brother who can scan and send 'em over. Right bro?  ;)

His Goal

I am really unsure about how this is going to go and how long it's going to last. I really don't even know what I am going to blog about half the time. I am no good at grammar and very good at repeating myself. I like to emphasize things, and when I discover something new I can't share it enough. I am obsessed with good quotes, and photography, so I put them together a lot. You shall see that very soon.

I am a young Christian girl striving to make Christ my first love and everything else in following. I have stumbled so often it is amazing I am still on the straight, narrow path. And it is amazing; amazing grace. You will find me emphasizing on that point very often, among other things. 

So welcome to hearts and flowers, I hope whatever is read on here will be of good for the reader, but that isn't my goal. I want to serve God, and record the journey I am making towards his Kingdom.