when you just can't write

It's not that I can't write.

I just don't want to write.

Well, I want to write, I just don't want to write something that I don't think is very good.

But I was reminded very early this morning while reading another blogger that it doesn't have to be earth shattering. Just write.

And not only that, just write for others. It's not even about you.

It's about the enjoyment of your readers.

It's about encouragement.

It's hard to make it that way sometimes. We make it about not revealing our weaknesses. We make it about perfect editing and smart, funny statements and profound points.

We make it about us.

If you walked in on me right now you'd see messy hair cause that's the last thing I want to do when I get up.

You'd probably see makeup in the wrong places because I rubbed my eyes but didn't look in the mirror yet to make sure everything is okay.

You'd see wet yoga pants and a dirty T-shirt because I was too lazy to put on snow pants when I ran outside spontaneously.

And if you got to peak inside my heart...

You'd see frustration and worry and pride and so many other things.

But we don't let you see this stuff. Not on a blog. And when we do admit we're weak it's okay because we're admitting it willingly. We're not getting caught unwillingly.

Even now I'm reading over this post and thinking it's very scattered and the first sentence has nothing to do with what I'm writing right now.

Whatever. I'm just going to post it and wish you all a happy Monday. I hope you can smile a lot today and in your heart too. And if you haven't already had your fill of reminders of the real meaning of Christmas, I hope you can truly truly keep doing grace. Because of Christ. Because of hope.

Love you all!
Lauren

Five Minute Friday: 'Tis the Season

This is Hilarious.

It's the Most Wonderful Time

And true.

I love Christmas, I really do. Boney M., twinkling lights, truffles, and clementines. Oh, and the smell of spruce. Sometimes I just grab a branch and rub it in my face. Fabulous.

I love this season, but working out in the world you really begin to see the pathetic side of it. I never really did before. I saw the huge lineups in Wal-Mart and the ridiculous amount of toys parents were purchasing, but now I see so much more. One minute wishing 'Merry Christmas' and the next loosing it over split milk. Literally.

This year my family is keeping it a bit simple. Just family time, a few gifts, and cousins. Yay!

Last year I wrote an essay on the season and my thesis was celebrate Christ always.

Let's do that. Let's always remember Christ\'s birth and life and death. Let's not just get jolly now but be merry and thankful always. Wish 'Merry Christmas'. Then turn around and do grace. Always.

Five Minute Friday: Sarcasm

NOTE: I composed this a week ago but couldn't post it due to lack of internet service. I don't really know why you need to know that.

Okay. This one I'm writing on the road.  My Dad is driving, it's getting dark outside, and we have our favourite song playing.

My mom told me I should write something on sarcasm. Lets just say it's something I'm good at in a bad way.

I realized it's not really sarcasm that's the problem, it's the attitude that usually comes with it. Sometimes sarcasm can be funny if presented in a completely joking tone. But often enough it comes out as just plain old meanness and pride. I realized that quite often when I use sarcasm it's because I know better and why don't they? Or why weren't they just paying attention in the first place?

But guess what, Lauren.

You're not perfect either. Sometimes I can't pay attention or couldn't know better to save my life.  Sometimes I'm the one who should have sarcasm spat out at me but oh so often I get love and grace.

Maybe that's because I need so much help I am pitied.

And that's it.

Good night all.

project complete

Remember that 'thing to hang on the wall' project I was working on?

Okay, it's done.

And it hangs in our porch.

And it looks like this.

By the way, it's the Duke of Conde if you can't read it. I have pretty much no idea who that is. But he said some good words here.

And this was inspired by Janelle Bradshaw's own thing to hang on the wall over on girltalk.

Happy Tuesday everyone!
Lauren

Sweet, Glorious Communion

Well, folks, here it is.

We have been working on this for over a month now, and it’s finally ready.

I had wanted to write a post on church fellowship and the communion of the saints for a while. And I had also wanted to write a post with a co-writer.

So I killed two birds with one stone.

With the very necessary help of my Bible college classmate/roommate/friend – Miss Leana.

Enjoy!

Lauren: I think I'll just begin by saying this topic has been on my mind for a while now. The need for it in the church, and the joy and the blessing it is to believers. A week ago I was pleasantly surprised to meet a dear person who I was not expecting to see for a very long time. It was such a warm, unforgettable moment, and it reminded me yet again of this sweet communion with fellow believers. When it finally struck me that this particular aspect of our faith is right up there in the Apostle's Creed along with the Holy Spirit, the forgiveness of sins and the Resurrection, I began to ponder on its deep meaning and importance in the life of the church. There are so many aspects to this communion; the Lord's Supper, prayer meetings, and even just fellowship after worship on Sundays. This is deep, and I hope we can dig into it a little bit right here.

Leana: Well let’s just grab our shovels, because there is a lot to dig into with this topic. So many things came to my mind when I started thinking about the communion of saints, and I wondered where to start. But maybe it’s not about where we should start, but with whom we should start. Christ. The Saviour of His people, the author of our salvation, the giver of this fellowship. He didn't come to redeem individuals only, but all those who confess His name. And because of His work we are made fellow-citizens of His kingdom, and fellow-members of His family. His family. What a way to describe the communion of saints. Shouldn't this characterise our attitude as we gather on Sundays, as we encourage the broken, as we rebuke the stubborn? This deep reality of shared grace is a thread that weaves throughout every element of our interaction with one another.

Lauren: Yes! It should indeed characterize our actual fellowship with the saints. Excellent point. Communion with fellow believers is the greatest blessing only when we are humble in the knowledge of the grace that unites us all. And when that grace is the focal point of our fellowship we can't help but be humble, and Christ centered in all that we say and do; seeking forgiveness and pursuing ours and others' growth in the Gospel. I found that to be one of the more significant aspects of this communion: how we grow together in the grace and knowledge of our Lord. While personal devotions are so very important, we need humble correction and encouragement from the church as well. Even before the fall, it wasn't good that Adam should be alone, he needed a helper. We are no different. We need help, we need those special tools called 'fellow believers' whom God uses in our sanctification.

Leana: That is so true, that we need each other to grow in grace. I like what you said about how personal devotions are important but we still need to be kept accountable. It's also really encouraging to know that you aren't the only one struggling with sin and its effects. But while we're talking about how we interact with one another in the communion of saints, let’s go further into what you said about seeking forgiveness. It always strikes me as kind of ironic how in the Apostles' Creed, the confession that we believe in 'the forgiveness of sins' comes immediately after 'the communion of saints.' Kind of telling, don't you think? After all, when you have a group of sinful people in a community, there is going to be trouble. Sometimes we gossip, or get sinfully angry with each other, and things can get pretty bad. But thanks be to God for the blessing of the Gospel for it is through this Gospel that we are convicted and enabled to seek forgiveness from God and from one another. And we grow from that. Amazing how by His grace God takes the ugly and hurtful things and turns them into means of growth in relationships.

Lauren: Good point about the forgiveness of sins following the communion of the saints. When we say we believe in the forgiveness of sins we have to realize that it applies to more than just the forgiveness of our sins. As Christ forgave us and showed grace to us, so are we to forgive and show grace to those around us.
Personally, I wanted to end my contribution on this note: the refreshing that comes from this communion. You work all week in a secular environment, around many who do not share your faith, and then you come to church on Sunday. Oh, what a day of rest indeed! You come to those who want to rejoice and meditate on that same Rock of Salvation that helped you get through the week. These people all share one joy and one focus: the Gospel. Unlike the world around us, in the church there is no repentance without forgiveness, there is no fear without guidance, and there is no stumbling without healing. It is this communion of the saints which refreshes and refills our souls with reminders of love and grace.

Leana: That’s a great note to end on. No matter what our week has been like, we should never take it for granted that we can come together again to celebrate our Lord’s resurrection. Let’s be thankful. Let’s encourage one another by speaking about what a treasure God has given to us in Christ. So when we sit down in Church this Sunday, let’s take a moment to look around and reflect— today we will receive the Gospel together. We will hear about our Saviour, and together our souls will be refreshed with the truth that He has given us in His Word. Let’s meditate on what a tremendous blessing it is that we may together be common partakers of Christ, sharing in His blessings, loving one another. And to think it’s just the beginning.

"The glory that you have given me I have given to them, that they may be one even as we are one, I in them and you in me, that they may become perfectly one, so that the world may know that you sent me and loved them even as you loved me."

- John 17:22-23

"Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing."

- I Thessalonians 5:11

currently #3

watching...

the wet snow fall. We keep on getting these little snow falls that melt in 24 hours, so we've practically had spring three times in two weeks. In November. But it's still cozy, and exciting, and wintery. And kinda purty, don't you think?

having a hard time believing...

that it is nearly inevitable that my big brother goes to Regina for six months to become an RCMP officer. Today was his last test and a pass is pretty much an acceptance. He passed. Oh my. He just isn't a little kiddo any more. None of us are, I guess. Just once in awhile you get a rude awakening. No, this isn't a rude awakening. It's tremendous and overwhelming. 

attempting...

a sugar-free diet for one month with my mom. It has undoubtedly not been sugar free, but more sugar free than normal. It feels good, except when you indulge a bit. Last night I laughed so hard after a milk shake and cookies I almost lost that milk shake and those cookies. Today was back to dates and natural peanut butter and tea. 

[impatiently] waiting...

for Thursday, 2:50 PM. My jaw spreader is coming out. I guess the dentist determined my mouth was big enough now, so they are going to take out this honking big piece of plastic and metal out from the roof of my mouth. I'll be able to say my 's's again! And not get driven crazy by food stuck in the appliance. I'm sorry, that was gross, wasn't it? 

making..

something to hang on the wall. I just realized I don't really even know what to call this project until a few seconds ago when I was about to type it out. And all I could come up with was 'something to hang on the wall.' Anyways, it's pallet wood, slightly sanded, with a wonderful quote painted on it with white primer. I still haven't quite figured out how I'm going to do the painting part of it yet but it'll come. I promise a picture when it is done. 

Oh, and I have also picked up some knitting again. It's kind of a wintery thing to do, and I needed a project. Conclusion: knit a scarf. 

thinking...

of nothing else to say, so I guess that's it for now. I'm also thinking the next post or the second next post will be something my friend and I have been working on for quite some time now, and it's getting close to done. So stay tuned! 

it was a good week

I had a good week.

Is that bragging? Sometimes I feel when people say "I had a good week" or "I had a good day" they are saying "I have the power to make my day good and I did. So there."

I'm sorry, I'm not bragging. I just had a pretty good week.

Not the frozen hands while picking apples part. Or the waking up 3:50 a.m. for work and scraping off my car in the dark part. But those are actually pretty good things too. I'm thankful that I can get up to go to work, and for the crisp fall air.

No; the things which made my week a good week were the following.

I half partly barely assisted in an emergency c-section on a cow. Okay. I really just watched it. But it was so amazing. The first calf came out and my brothers and I and the farmer had to rub it to keep the circulation going.

And then something else was moving.

Twins!

So we got that one out and I got so disgustingly dirty and cold and it was so amazing. Life is beautiful.

Another good thing was I helped some good friends complete their apple harvest. It was fun. My back is sore. Then some crazy boys went swimming to celebrate. They froze. Mostly because it took my friend and I too long to tow in the raft that they were standing on and the air was pretty crisp.

I also went to my grandparents' place for supper and I realized how important these times are. They teach me so much and don't even know it. They worked far harder than I imagine I will ever work in my entire life. My Oma struggled with homesickness when she left her home in Holland to raise a family in Canada with my Opa far more than I did at college: a mere 24 hour drive from home. They had less privileges and yet more fun than a lot of young people today. And they are so cute, and funny. And Oma is a good cook. And Opa is a good story teller. If I pay well attention.

And today is my first lazy Saturday off in forever and a half. And it's sunny. And it's November. I'm staying home. I refuse to get into a vehicle. Wild horses won't make me do it.

Whoa. I just looked up from my laptop and one of the cats was glaring at me.

Now his eyes are closed around his chubby little cheeks.

And I must be going. The daylight calls. I am so excited.

Five Minute Friday: This World

I'm writing this on my break. At work. On my iPod. This is my first time and I'm not sure how I'll do, but here we go.

I work in an environment that's all about speed and perfection, for the customers. It doesn't really matter if a coworker is about to faint or go crazy or if I'm getting claustrophobic in my little corner pouring coffee. Those customers need to get their order. Enough said.

It's a sad sad thing. People going crazy over a cup of coffee. Sometimes I just wish we would all just stop and think of how pathetic it really is.

And then I think of it Scripture based. What if we all were of the mindset that this life is so short. That cup of coffee is so little and so unimportant compared to eternal life and the joys of Heaven.

We all need to keep that in mind; and always. The good things in this world can't be compared to the good in Heaven. Like C. S. Lewis wrote in The Last Battle: the sweetest wild strawberry was sour.

Lets remember that. The smallness of this world's 'bigness' in comparison to the greatness of Heaven.

Over and out.

Actually back to work.

225

That's how many pictures I just took in 20 minutes with Brandon Heath in my ears and the sun just a-shining and the leaves just a-turning.

But what's a good picture without a good thought? This is how I often waste my time in the evenings when I'm putting off going to bed.

Enjoy!

till next time! 

Lauren

thoughts like Lizzie's

"The more I see of the world, the more am I dissatisfied with it; and every day confirms my belief of the inconsistency of all human characters, and of the little dependence that can be placed on the appearance of either merit or sense."

-Elizabeth Bennett, Pride and Prejudice

I sorta love this phrase. It's been going through my mind a lot recently. I guess it's because my mind has been quite occupied with the vanities of this world lately. No, I'm not obsessing with my looks or wealth, I mean I have been thinking a lot about the realness of vanity. It's everywhere; literally. All is vanity, and grasping at the wind. So true. Even more true when you think you have found a good heart but then the short tempered side comes out. Or you think you have finally got a hold of your tongue when something literally slips and you are humbly reminded that you are not perfect.

What do we do about this? How do we live in a world where everything is worthless and unsatisfactory? I think what I have to keep in mind is that as soon as I am disappointed with something/someone, I am disappointed with where I thought they were. I put them/it on a pedestal and suddenly the pedestal that I made has come crashing down and I can't cope.

Your (and mine, oh, so mine) displeasure with the world is a result of your own expectations and pride. If we are not aware of the worthlessness of this world in comparison to the worth of God's love, we will fall into disappointment often. If we are not so humble as to recognize our own sin and quite worthless state we will expect better from ourselves and for ourselves. The last person who is going to be happy in the world is the one who thinks they deserve satisfaction with everything and everyone in the world. Now that will never happen. So come off your high horse, or fall off. Whichever you choose.

As a little side note, what Lizzie says has to do with her frustration with people's characters and inconsistencies. (By the way that is also completely understandable. Since when did we meet a person that didn't drive us bonkers one way or the other?) What I say is that yes we are going to run into many things, actually all things that will eventually drive us crazy, but here's the nugget: you do it too. Sure Lizzie, you're mad, but you can't go climbing up on any pedestal either.

Now, how to end this? Hope. Always hope. Isn't it amazing that there is One who always forgives? Can we end our thanks knowing that we need and do receive the grace that we so often struggle to show ourselves? Let's not stop thanking; ever. The more we thank God, the less we will want out of this world, the happier we'll be in Christ. Rest in His grace.

currently #2

obsessing...

with this season + new[ish] camera. Love. Love. Love. 

sitting...

in my work clothes on the floor with my back very uncomfortably against this bench. Why? I don't know. 

thinking...

about how in the world I just spelled 'uncomfortably' wrong in the last sentence. Some day I'll do a post with no editing. I think I just got myself into a mess. 

really thinking...

about tomorrow's plans, and unforeseeable plans. Do they even exist? 

thanking...

for safe travels. For beautiful weather. For employment. For so much hope. For music. For the birds. [just very randomly thought of this slightly irrelevant video. I really was thanking for their chirping outside the window.]  And for pumpkin torte. 

learning...

how to drive standard. How this printer works. How to think deeper than surface values. How to do grace. 

remembering...

that I forget so many things. What patience is. What really is important. What the time is. Oh dear. 

so ya, good bye. 

this weekend.

Some weekends are just so wonderful and crazy and full of goodness.

The wonderful:

Beautiful seasons to drive through.

Renewing old acquaintances and making new ones.

The crazy:

Folding a gazillion bulletins before we get left behind.

U-turns with 15 seater vans. Poor Jesse.

Filling up on frozen yogurt.

Plans.

The goodness: 

Where do I start? How do I end? When the people of God gather together to study His Word and grow in their faith given by our Heavenly Father, there is no end to goodness because He does not end in goodness.




Did you think this was it?

It's not the end.

This was the end.

[insert explanation as to how in the world we locked our keys in the house before we even set out]
[or don't]

[bye]

growin' up

Wonderful things happen when you grow up.

Like this.

But in the same token, it's sad. Bitter sweet I should say. 

Yes, my big brother is on his way to his dream, but it's not really a dream without teary good byes, or worry-filled nights, or long distance phone calls to make sure he arrived safely. 

I don't want our family to live 24 hour drives apart, or even in different provinces. I don't want us to grow up. Ever. 

But that is exactly how our family started. My mom moved away; far, far away from home at just 18. She worked for my dad's dad. She met my dad wearing a toque while eating his cereal. She married him anyways and didn't take very good care of his red car. So they sold it. And had big brother, middle me, and little brother. 

I can't not wish this on anyone. It's wonderful. It's beautiful. 

So even though it's hard seeing wings spread and take flight, I wouldn't be here if my mom didn't do it. Even though it's hard, it can bring about something wonderful. I just can't wait to get past the hard and get to the wonderful.  

And then other things happen when you grow up. 

Like this. 

But those are other worried-filled nights that I'll get into later.

stop 'n' go - on repeat

That's all I've been doing.

Up the drive way. Stop. Go. Stop. Go. Stop. Stall. Restart. Go.

Then reverse.

Stall.

Back up.

Don't hit flower pot. Or patio. Or dog.

Stop. Go. Stop. Go.

And so after 12.5793 minutes, 35.295 stalls (because a reverse stall doesn't count all the way; I can't see where I'm going!), and probably an additional 3058 more skid-marks on the drive-way, I finally had more than 6 consecutive stop 'n' go's with no stalling.

Now to do under the pressure of Kentville traffic. Oh boy.

BUT, I must prove to my little (little!!) brother that I can do this just as smoothly as he can. After all, it's my car.

kitty cat

I love my kitties.

They can be so photogenic. 

And then not. 

And then sometimes they get their hair styled with hair gel. Ultimate hold sport hair gel.

And don't forget about this guy. He's pretty special too.

This Fall

This fall is going to be special.

Actually, it already is.

Reason #1 - I'm home. I wasn't last year and it wasn't the easiest. Now I'm home. Watching the leaves fall at home. Watching the colours change in my hometown. Spending cozy evenings with my family. None of which happened last year. Yup, I'm a home body.

Reason #2 - No school. First fall with no school to do. I don't mind. I get to read whatever at my own pace and just enjoy it. I get to write for the fun of it with no handing in and getting back and wincing at the number preceding the percentage sign.

Reason #3 - I'm getting a car. Sorta. My parents are so great. Actually, it's happening today: standard lessons and all. I'm doomed. No. My dad is doomed. And the car.

Reason #4 - So I can't say I like my job, but it's bearable when you go to part time. :) And then you fill in the rest of those days with picking apples alongside of good friends, and rotten apple fights, (!!!) and coffee shops and kitties.

Reason #5 - This actually isn't the most pleasant thing to think of, but this fall better be great because it may be the last one that our family will spend together. It is the first fall in two years where all of us kids are at home, and it could very likely be the last. It is the last fall of homeschooling in this household, and that probably means another empty bedroom in a year's time.

Reason #6 - It is another season to reflect upon growth and joy. Every season is more wonderful because every season we get closer to Home. Closer to the Maker of our Home. Closer to complete knowledge and understanding of grace.

Reason 7 - Oh, and this fall also marks the first official graduation in our home. Excitement.

to blog or not to blog

You know you need to work on something when you know it yourself and then someone tells you to. I knew I needed to blog more, but then someone told me so.

And it doesn't help that I have about a thousand drafts that are forever old and I can't really even remember what they are supposed to be about.

Actually it's about four drafts not even two months old and I think I really just lost interest in what I was writing about at that moment.

While I do feel like I should blog more, I know that this is supposed to be a thing of leisure. Blog about whatever, whenever. No pressure. Right? Right. Not.

There is one blog I read where the sole writer posts nearly every day, writes more than a few paragraphs, and almost always makes me laugh or think or cry.

I can tell you right now I have no hope nor desire to aspire to that, but I do intend to pick up the slack around here and get blogging.

I think. Oh dear...

currently

seeing... 

um, the keyboard, and the words I am typing out.

hearing... 

sizzling pancakes, and someone banging upstairs. Oh, and crickets, I can hear the crickets. I love this time of year.

eating... 

double chocolate cookies... complements of soon-to-be-police-academy-graduate big brother. And I can't stop.

thinking... 

about a lot of things. About setting the table and calling in father for supper. And apples. I can't wait to pick apples. And have rotten apple fights like we used to in the good old days. I think I'll write a post on that.

reading... 

The Lord of The Rings. Or trying to.

ending... 

this post. It's supper time. Farewell.

introvert?

I guess if I really had to decide I always labeled myself as an extrovert - because I knew how to be chatty. But then I read this article.

23 Signs You're Secretly An Introvert

And I sorta changed my mind.

I still don't think I am a 'real' introvert. I love my friends and family, and I love a little social time. It was interesting to learn that there are a few different types of introverts, and it was also a bit relieving to have an explanation for my love of solitude.

NOTE: not that I needed to be assured that I was normal for loving solitude, I just thought I was a bit crazy for needing that balance.

Anyways, interesting read. Check it out. Maybe you're an introvert. :)

calm

So a thought struck me the other day.

You know all those "Keep Calm and [insert activity which appeals to the population this statement is trying to attract]" statements? Yeah, you see 'em on t-shirts, pinterest, facebook, etc...

Some of them are hilarious. Like this one. (If you're not acquainted with The Hobbit, see this,  at 0:55)

And some of them are good. Like this one. 

But the thought that struck me was this: why the obsession with keeping calm? If you think about, what the world creates is what the world craves. The world creates movies because it craves amusement. The world creates love songs because it craves that perfect love. And the world piles up reasons to keep calm because it craves security. 

This particular obsession with 'keeping calm' is one that the Christian need not concern themselves with. Why? Because we do not need to keep calm, we are already kept calm by this magnificent thing called amazing grace. By this grace we are granted peace and trust which allows us to walk out into the world and not feel the urge to snatch at whatever we can to keep ourselves assured of all things. We are already assured of all things; no, not great riches or particular beauty, but sufficient means and the love of Christ. 

Once you have died to Christ you do nothing to keep calm, but you do everything in that grace-given calm. To live a life outside of the blood of Christ and the hope of the cross is to be frantically shaken by the hunger for a sweet calm and steadfast trust. 

It's not "Keep calm and carry on" written on a t-shirt. It's "Keep me calm and carry me on" spoken on bent knees. 

"You will keep him in perfect peace,

Whose mind is stayed on You, 

Because he trusts in You."

~ Isaiah 26:3

new things

So I figured I had better blog about something, and soon. Lists make it easy, so I thought maybe a list of some new facts about myself would do. Let's see how long this takes.

1. I am now of legal drinking age. This failed however when I tried to purchase a bottle of wine as a gift for someone but had some friends with me who did not have their ID with them... and I was quite apparently not their mother.

2. I went to the first ARP youth rally held in the Annapolis Happy Valley.

3. I have braces... and a jaw spreader. Yuck.

4. This will be the first August since I was 13 that I will not be going to camp. Sad things happen.

5. I am related to some pretty crazy and amazing people.

6. I am unrelated to some pretty crazy and amazing people.

7. I decided that I may actually be undecided about a future career choice.

8. I am reading a book written by someone who has read my mind. Not really. Grace for the Good Girl - I highly recommend it.

9. I own a Canon T2i. I am glad about that.

10. I like writing short sentences. They state facts. Like this.

11. I have learned that I can't capture every good moment through the lens. But I still try. So I guess I didn't learn anything.

12. I have also learned that this very process of learning never ends. We always learn. We always want to really know the answer. But guess what, it's not the answer. It's a piece of the puzzle. And there is only one thing to really know about that puzzle; it will take a lifetime to finish it.

13. This is the first September in 13 years in which I will not have any school.

14. I stumble. A lot.

15. I am rescued. Every time.

16. I am trying to think of something profound and quote-worthy to end on but can only come up with this: Amazing Grace. It's always there, but it is always anew.

17. I just thought of something for a new blog post.

18. I just thought of something for two new blog posts.

19. I should stop now.

I didn't time that, but my computer is now overheated, supper is now ready and I'm now hungry. None of those things were before.

not long now

I can't believe it's the 8th of July. My birthday is this month. September is the month after next. What? So it's almost Christmas?

Seriously, though. Time? Hello?

I can't decided if it's a good thing when time flies. Sometimes it's good, like the first work shift in the week. But sometimes, it's a little sad, when the summer is half over, and in nine days when we will be saying our goodbyes.

But at all times, it's for good. Whether the shift is dragging, or vacation seems a century away. To suffer builds character. That sounds cruel...

Anyways, random post. Just felt the need to announce that I. AM. READY. FOR. WEDNESDAY. Because I get a new camera. KIDDING GIRLS. Can't wait to see you!

one of those days

It was one of those days...

When you get to sleep in after getting up at 4:50 AM for the past five days.

When you make a fresh pot of coffee and enjoy a little morning time with your parents.

When you pack up a lunch and head out for an adventure with the family.

When you meet up with dear, missed, and little faces and enjoy creation.

When you give hungry little mouths refreshment and tired little legs rest.

When you hop out of the car at a random stop and run to Dairy Queen for a special treat.

When you come home to a wagging tail, a purring snout, and a chirping beak.

When you make supper with family and enjoy the evening cool.

When you look back sad by the bickering but smiling at the memories.

When you look ahead to a Day of rest and worship and fellowship.

And you can't help but count your blessings, and give thanks, and remember days like these on all the other ones.

happily,

Lauren

Life.

First, my bad for taking, like, 40 days to post again.

Second, life. No, not "arg; life", or "oh my; life", but "okay; life". Here's my C.S. Lewis daily quote for May 21st

"The great thing, if one can, is to stop regarding all the unpleasant things as interruptions of one's 'own' or 'real' life. The truth is of course that what one calls the interruptions are precisely one's real life - the life God is sending one day by day"

This is big. It is so easy to look at any misfortune or nuisance in life as a bad thing, or even undeserved, but you know what this does? It makes you unhappy. You know why? Because you think you deserve to be happier. With that mindset I can guarantee you this: you will never get there. 

Happiness is not reached when it is the number one goal in life. Put thankfulness in it's place. Thankfulness to God for His every day mercy and grace. Thankfulness for salvation. I can't tell you the enormous difference it makes in my day when I switch from anxiety to thanksgiving. Or when I stop blaming by troubles and start counting my blessings. It's hard, though. Hardest when things get the most trying, but essential to get through. 

It's usually a Psalm that reminds me of my greatest vantage in life. Although this world can criticize, cheat, and beat me down, it only does so on a worldly level, and what is that to me? I am reminded of 1 Peter 4:12-13 "Beloved, do not think it strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened to you; but rejoice to the extent that you partake of Christ's sufferings, that when His glory is revealed, you may also be glad with exceeding joy."

Every moment of your life is given by God and is to be lived to His glory. Every trial and every blessing is a gift and should not be scorned in frustration; rather it should be lived in trust and joy to Christ's glory. 

I did it.

I suppose a real faithful blogger would have posted something the minute she was done writing exams and could officially say she didn't have any homework to do.

Whoops.

Well, I'm not even thirty-six hours out of exams. It hasn't sunk in yet. I feel like I am on a constant splurging break. I feel lazy. I feel guilty. My mind goes automatically to 'I should stop watching BBC mini-series and get going on homework', and then I remember that I actually don't have any. SAY WHAT???

I thought this would have felt way different. Counting down the days made it seem like a bigger deal, but now that the days have run out it's like 'oh, I'm done.' Maybe seeing my family will settle it. Maybe at graduation it will sink in. Maybe when I'm saying good bye and going home it will hit me. I'm not sure; but I can't say I am really enjoying this feeling as much as I thought I would.

It's been an amazing year though. I've never worked so hard in my life; I've never learned so many lessons in such a short period of time, (and not just in the classroom). I've met so many wonderful people, had so many godly examples around me, struggled through so much and am all the more stronger for it. I am thankful. Thankful for this opportunity, the people who made it possible, and for God who led me through every minute of it.

I was at a mall earlier today and over heard a teen-aged girl say exasperatedly "I don't know what to do with my life." It made me realize that even if I don't know what is coming next I have so much hope and faith in the knowledge that I am in the center of the holy will of God. I have riches stored in Him, I have His love and relationship at all times, I really do not have anything to fear.

If I were to expound on all the areas that Gillespie has affected and strengthened me, I might not get to bed tonight. So I will just state that it has been such a blessing; SUCH a blessing. And also a special thank you to all who were involved in that: teachers, classmates, and some other special people I encountered along the way.

Most importantly, it is by grace that I have been blessed. For every gift that has been bestowed upon me this past year, I thank my Heavenly Father for His love and mercy. For His working in my heart, and for His calling to me to be His own.

"Take my will, and make it Thine; it shall be no longer mine. Take my heart, it is Thine own; it shall be Thy royal throne, it shall be Thy royal throne." 

soon soon soon!

oh boy oh boy! I get to see my dad and brothers in two weeks! Providing my roommates don't lock me in the laundry room, or my brothers insist they stop for a Leaf's game on the way... Shoot. That would be way cooler than seeing their sister. 

My family loves me. Sometimes.

I don't need to see...

In two weeks I will be done Gillespie Academy. In three weeks I will be graduating. In a year I have no idea what I will be doing. But I am excited. Excited to be home again. Excited to start work again. Excited for some free time to read and swim and take pictures. Excited to see where I will be in the coming months, what is going to happen, who I will meet. I am excited to say that I can face the future, the turns, the ups and downs, and the good times and the bad times with joy and trust. Why? Because I am a believer. I have a faith that rids of all doubt. I am in the hands and will of the Creator of the universe, who ordains every minute of my life for His glory and for my good. I cannot doubt. I cannot question. I am loved. That is more than enough.

Link #10

I wanted to end on a chuckle, and this one definitely serves well. :)

Burnt Suppers and Scraped Knees...: Potluck Politics

I know I don't have many readers, but if you would like to please share your favourite link in the comments! I love a good article or something for lunch break.  :)

Link #9

I really was hoping to share one of these dear ladies' posts at one point. I would share them all, but for just one, this one.

Burnt Suppers and Scraped Knees...: Praying.

I just got back from prayer meeting myself; it strikes me every time. One comes with sorrow, and yet turns to the needs of others without a thought of their own. One comes in weakness and then prays for strength for others. One comes in confidence and turns to tears for the sake of another's uncertainty. Go to be a blessing, for the sake of Christ, for the furtherance of God's Kingdom and for the strengthening of His church.

Link #8

Take a moment... read...

A Holy Experience – Dear You… a letter for the hard days

Because there are hard days, because we have not reached glorification, because we do lack strength. Today I am thankful for those who have been graced with insight and words to communicate the joys and peace we have in Christ.

Things of realest beauty don’t bring us glory — but Him glory...

Link #7

I really like this post. I just really like it.

Practical Theology for Women: The Value of Quiet Husbands

There is so much to be said for a guy who doesn't say much, but who doesn't need to either. Some guys have great character along with talking, but the guy I admire has great quality, and words spoken only in necessity and wisdom. Quiet people take time and effort to get to know, but often it is really worth it. It's easy to like someone who can chat on and on and make the atmosphere really relaxed, but not necessarily beneficial. It takes getting to know a quiet person to learn that they really are awesome. And this doesn't just go for guys, I appreciate the quiet, word-wise woman as well.

Well, had an amazing afternoon with my cousin. Now to spring ahead... YUSSSSS!!!!

Link #6

Time for a video.

Christine Caine - Liberty University Convocation - YouTube

It'll make you think. Hard. 

Love her accent, not so much the yelling. 

And if you want her last quotable quote, I fancied it up for ya. 

Link #5

Funny? Sad? Thoughtful? Are you sick of this? 

 A Holy Experience – How to Really Live

oh hey, and don't forget about the time change this weekend; spring forward, people! 

Link #4

Okay, now for a laugh.

Unless you weren't moved by Link #2; fine, be emotionless. Life will be easier and more boring.

Watch this: Messy Mondays: 25 Things You Say When You Don't Know What to Say

Now say something...

And watch more of their videos... with caution. Listen to the good points, discern the drama. Thank you.

Link #3

I was going to do a funny one, but I think I'll save that for later. I feel a little more thought-provoking today.

My 'u' key is acting up on my key board... must be a sign.

Okay, so here is another good read. A really good read.

Big House in the Little Woods: The Singleness Epidemic

Okay, first of all, this is the only post I have read from this blog, so I can't recommend it like the other one. Secondly, I am aware that what she says here is quite a statement, bold, but not to be disregarded. Read it, think about it, and don't just apply it to relationships. What she says really has to do with life in seeking God's will and not just avoiding hurt and pain. She says it is the key to successful relationships; I say it is the key to more than that. Relationships are a part of life, in marriage, friendships, church family, etc...

So, give it a read, give it a thought. Let me know about yours.

Link #2

When I want a good cry, I watch these. This one is pretty much my all-time favourite.

The Best Surprise Military Homecomings: PART ONE - YouTube

Here, here's a tissue.

No?

I'm not weird, your cold.

Kidding.

favourites (Link #1)

Notice I spell it with a 'u'. My logic teacher would be very happy. But my web browser communicates it is not happy by rudely squiggling a red line under it.

So, I am going to share ten of my favourite links (hopefully) over the next ten days. Maybe eleven days, or twenty-eight, we'll see. They aren't going to be in any particular order, just random favourites I think of.

Here's the first one.

The Christian Pundit - Dying to Self

I think this actually might be my number one favourite; it's just jam-packed with truths to read over and over again so as to saturate your mind in it and live it out.

I also love this blog, the writers are fantastic people and their posts are always a good read. I might be posting another one of my favourites from them as one of the ten links.

Anyways, it's been too long, so I thought I better get going on something.

18 days until spring ya'll. Hang in there.
Lauren

Thoughts

I only have about a hundred things I want to blog about, but I only have about an ounce of motive to do so. I could blog every day if I would just be content with posting a picture or some other link, and then writing a note or two about it. But I would not be content with that... obviously.

I love writing, I really do. I love putting all my thoughts out in words in front of my eyes, and I like to share them. If they are funny or thoughtful I like to blog them, if they are exciting I like to Facebook them, if they are sad I like to write a letter or an email, and if they are personal I email my mom. If I can't tell anyone I journal it, and if they are so deep I can't even express them in words, I pray them to my Heavenly Father.

Maybe this summer when I no longer have a seemingly infinite pile of homework always before me, and a few spare hours to think about writing on something not assigned, I will blog a bit more.

*sigh* Summer, I love you and I miss you. I can only handle snow for about a month around Christmas, and then I am ready for spring. People think I am crazy for loving a good down pour in February, but melting snow is perhaps the most exhilarating sight I will ever behold. I love bare feet in green grass, reading outside in the sunshine, ice cream on a hot day, or swimming with friends after working a sweat. Oh, and my birthday, it's in July. J

I guess the thing I can appreciate about winter is that it makes me love spring more, I can get through winter looking forward to something; as Anne Shirley said, half the fun is looking forward to it. These are the good days, the days when there is something to look forward to, the days you know will soon come to an end, the hard days that help you to love and grow.

So I shall thank God for the darker, colder days which make the sunny days appear that much more bright and warm. I shall find joy in the times when happiness is hard to see, because I know it will not last forever.

And because there is always home. ♥ I'll be seeing you in four days. J

Well, that wasn't exactly one of the hundred things I wanted to blog about, but I did discover some motive. I guess I just need to keep exercising it.

~ Lauren Jane

because it's been a while...

...and I can't think of anything to write.

swimming at my Mom's family reunion, August 2009

BUT, a picture is worth a thousand words. So I should be taken care of for a bit.

Have a good week everyone!

that gift...

Prayer. A gift of grace. A means of grace.

It is a gift, but not an option. It is an obligation. We are called to know God more, but without prayer we could not. It is not a gift to use as we please, it is a gift from God so we can do what He has called us to do; that is to seek his face.

Prayer is to stand before God, to be in His presence. And you know what is amazing? He calls us to seek Him, He tells us to ask of Him. I just can't get beyond that sometimes, that we don't deserve a mite of grace and then Jesus tells us to ask, seek, and knock, and we will be heard.

What a wonderful promise, what amazing grace.

getting back in the swing of things... sorta

Entering week two of semester two. 14 more to go. (Including the week after exams when we all sit around waiting for the grad and sweating about our final mark, [just kidding about the last part] it'll be great. [except we have to clean the apartment like never before, literally] )

I'm told it'll fly by, and I am sure it will. Looking at our workload I wonder why I sweated last semester. But then, don't things always work out in the end anyway? On Friday we were given the syllabus for one of the heavier courses and we kinda freaked out. Afterwards I was talking to my roommate and I asked her what really is the worst thing that could happen. Her reply: lose our salvation, but we can't.

Conclusion: it's going to be perfectly fine. We may come close to failing a test, we may get 2 minutes of sleep once in a while, we may have to work hard and dread what is ahead, but it'll be fine. 

Oh, and in case you couldn't tell, this was my study buddy for the weekend. It was a good weekend. :)

peace...

To expect fruit is to say you deserve something from God.
Nothing is a given. Everything is a gift.

Love,
Lauren